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Hell

Posted on Sun Feb 20th, 2011 @ 12:59am by Rear Admiral Relau Chlan (Ret.)

Begin Personal Log... Not that there's anything to write with in this cell. It's about as bare as the place I grew up. At least the common area had a shower and you could talk to the Ryuu who you didn't think threatened you all that much. I guess I'll just have to remember all of this for later, on the Shanghai. It's an awesome place, that ship. Glad that I'm there instead of Ryuusia. Of course, I would have been hung or decapitated or what have you had I stayed. So, I can think of brighter things than this cell.

I know that the Shanghai is doing everything to find me and Ufalla. I can't help but feel horrible for putting her in this situation. It seems that there is a dichotomy to this Federation that I wasn't aware of. Perhaps this is only an isolated incident, or maybe there will be a price on our heads for the rest of our lives. Either way, I am not sure that I can handle it all that well. It seems that once again my race has become the basis for my seizure by these low-lifes.

I don't know how long we have been kept here. I have been awake for 13 cycles, however, the time that I was drugged, I am not aware of. Maybe Ufalla can tell me later. Speaking of her, it is interesting. We have not had much contact at all, however, I feel in a way responsible for her. It perhaps is the Federation and their view towards the female gender, however, I do not see a need to coddle Commander Rai'ya. This thought pattern is interesting, and it intrigues me. What determines sexism among races? Would I be considered sexist because I feel responsible for her? However, on the flip side, would it be considered abuse by the Federation to use the females of our race as the Ryuu Confederacy does? Musings on this shouldn't be a bad thing, yet they trouble me. Did I make or somehow promote the female way of life on our home planet?

However, I am unsure of what can be said. Historians agree that females are just as capable, if not more so, than males. Females make up more than 80% of the Zedarijak forces. Indistinguishable from males, except in size only, they are some of the fiercest warriors. Yet they are also responsible for the kits. Voracious sex hormones as well. But, I digress. I am unsure of how to treat Ufalla. It would be a disgrace to her if I coddled her, yet I cannot help but feel completely responsible for her. She is... special to me.

I hear the engines rumbling and I cannot stand them much longer. I go to meditate now, hopefully to clear my mind. But only time will tell if I am successful or not. But I will not give in, I will win this fight. Failure is not an option.

 

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